According to The Phobia List phobias are IRRATIONAL, meaning that they interfere with one's everyday life or daily routine. For example, if your fear of high places prevents you from crossing necessary bridges to get to work, that fear is irrational. If your fears keep you from enjoying life or even preoccupy your thinking so that you are unable to work, or sleep, or do the things you wish to do, then it becomes irrational.

Fighting Phobias, The Things That Go Bump in the Mind by Lynne L. Hall

Jackson says that most specific phobias do not cause a serious disruption in a person's life, and, consequently, sufferers do not seek professional help. Instead, they find ways to avoid whatever it is that triggers their panic, or they simply endure the distress felt when they encounter it. Some may also consult their physicians, requesting medication to help them through a situation, such as an unavoidable plane trip for someone who is phobic about flying.

Well for years I was afraid of flying. I don't know why. But everytime I thought about it, there would be a major crash. It wasn't until I was past 40 that my husband finally got me to go on a 1 hour trip to Las Vegas. It was way better than Star Tours at Disneyland!

Ok, now for the hard one. The phone. I am not afraid to make calls to people. But I don't like taking calls unless I know who it is. When I was 8, I got an very explicit, phone call from some sicko. Only I didn't know better because he said he was a friend of my dad. Well eventually my friend called my dad and before I know it the police were there and I was questioned and to all the guy said. By the time all the question were done from everyone, I really felt like the bad person. Turns out it was a sexual pervert and years later a counselor said it was a form of sexual molestation. Though most molestation results in physical contact, both lead to molestation of the mind.
> Darylynn this would have to be my nightmare story too!

So lets go forward in time, 20 years. I get a call from a guy that says he has my huband and he is going to kill him if I don't do all that he says. He says they have people outside of my house. I have a 1 year baby and I am terrified! The guy says do not call the police or I will never see my husband again. Then he starts asking me these questions and then my mind goes back to when I was a child. So I hand up and call the police. The dispatch person was so nice and the police were so nice. They called my dad who came right over from work. The Postal investigators were contacted because my husband and Iworked for the Post Office. Again another sicko. The police had me call the phone company and them talked to them to get me an unlisted number. So move ahead another 10 years and I get a job in the office. I am making calls but I am okat with that. Then a few years later the Director says I have to work the main secretary job while doing my work. Now this was not a single line but one of those mega phones. I had to do this for 2 weeks and by the end I was at the emergency room diagnosed with stress induced asthma. Well it still happened a few more times. The racing of the heart, the urge to run to the bathroom, and just feeling sick. I was so afraid of messing up. I remember my supervisor praying with me in the bathroom.
I had counseling last year. My fear of the phone was a result of the sexual molestation and the fear of failure and shame. Shame is when you feel bad for somthing that was not directly your fault. You feel like a bad person for have been though a bad experience. The overwhelming loss of control was just to much. I share this because I have always considered myself a strong person. I could not beleive that something like this would get to me. At its worse I suffered from anxiety and depression. My counselor said that when we are molested, especially when young, we suffer shame and we don't trust. I didn't trust myself. The fear of failure kept me from going to the medical field. Then I felt bad because I didn't get to do what I wanted to. It has been 25 years since I got my degree in Soical Ecology with an emphasis is psychology and human developement. I thought what a waste. Well God is good, keeping me secure in Him all through this. In January I start lay counseling training. You see the experiences I have gone through will help me to help others. I am thankful to my church pastor and pastor of counseling, my family Dr, my friends that have been a support system and mostly my God. Darylynn thanks for this assignment that allowed me to share this!

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